Project Description

DITA VON TEESE

‘The Glamonatrix Tour’

@ The State Theatre, NSW

06/12/2019

(Live Review)

Reviewer: Amelia Torresan

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Ladies, you know that feeling of relief when you get home after a long day of work and just throw your clothes off , ready to relax for the night? Well one eye-catching beauty has made that her legacy, inspiring many to follow her in the art of strip-tease and suspense. Her name has now become synonymous to the painted perfection of a pin-up with a dirty mind.

Now, who better to host this tour than one of THE funniest comedians: Jackie Beat! Having watched Jackie perform once before, I knew that the crowd and I would be in stitches the entire night, which is exactly what happened. She really knows how to keep the interest of the crowd and lighten the mood, with a sprinkle of dirty dad jokes added in for fun.

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The first artist to take to the stage was a large bejewelled blue and gold cake containing the one and only Dita Von Teese. Alek, who is part of Dita’s entourage, danced around the stage in a very Beauty and The Beast-esque outfit as Dita emerged from the top of the “cake.” As soon as she stood up, the audience was almost blinded by the dazzle of all the crystals that adorned her dress and crown, an outfit that paid homage to Queen Elizabeth II’s coronation dress (sash included). It was the most beautiful sight to see as the stage lights would reflect all colours in the crystals as Dita gracefully moved around the cake and stage. This act included props such as champagne, accessories and her famous, oversized, feather fans which hypnotised the audience with every swish and flick of her wrist. She was stunning, both literally and figuratively.

Jackie Beat then graced the stage once more, applauding Dita Von Teese and introducing the next artist of the night, the ‘Prince of Boylesque’ Jett Adore in a 60’s themed act. The curtains were drawn and Jett was dressed in a huge fur (hopefully fake) coat and a deep purple sequin ‘tuxedo,’ looking like a character straight out of an Austin Powers movie and he did not behave. As he removed pieces of clothing, he would chuck them in any random direction, which would then be accompanied by sound effects of crashing glass that made the audience giggle. While Dita’s style was elegant, Jett’s style of burlesque was cheeky and received laughs from both men and women in the crowd and a collective gasp when he fell into the splits.

Next up onstage was Grace Kelly, wait no, Gia Genevieve who almost floated onstage in a long, silk, periwinkle coloured robe, which later revealed a matching lingerie set decorated with blue crystals that complimented her blonde hair and stunning smile. Gia, much like the other artists who had already appeared onstage, had captivated the audience with her seductive yet sweet charm. Her act featured a pre-recorded ‘phone call’ between herself and Dita Von Teese that featured some NSFW puns and props, having me in fits of giggles the entire time. Laszlo Major accompanied Gia Genevieve onstage in a pyjama set to match her robe and wowed the audience with his impressive pole work and unlimited flexibility, all the while undressing himself mid-air.

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Jackie Beat then returned to the stage as the curtains closed after Gia Genevieve’s act to sing a beautifully heartwarming rendition of the James Bond song ‘Diamonds are Forever’ which she parodied to be sung as ‘Dildos are Forever.’ Even through the song’s contents were 18+, Jackie’s vocals were nothing short of amazing, with a vibrato that matches the pros. Now was time for the ‘ominatrix’ of Dita Von Teese’s title ‘Glamonatrix.’ Dita walked out in a dominatrix-inspired outfit made of black latex, fur and her scantily clad entourage which had all departed by the time the act was over and she sat upon a huge mechanical lipstick as it rained confetti. It was the perfect pin-up postcard that I would send someone with the message ‘Wish You Were Here!’

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After a brief intermission, the entire cast returned to the stage in a circus act, Dita as a lion tamer, Gia as a balloon artist, Elio as the strong man, and so on. Once the act was over, Jackie Beat returned to sing an original ‘Bitch Slapped,’ before introducing Zelia Rose, an Australian Burlesque artist, to the stage. Zelia’s act was simple yet effective, her only prop being a chair on a rotating stage. Her outfit, reflected her personality onstage: captivating and fun with a necessary dose of sparkle!

After Zelia, Jackie Beat introduced “her illegitimate granddaughter” Dirty Martini graced the stage looking like a pure ray of sunshine, dressed in yellow and sparkling from head to toe! She was so entertaining to watch and her nipple tassle tricks were the cherry on top of her performance! You can tell it runs in the burlesque family!

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Now you must be thinking ‘what about Dita Von Teese’s iconic martini glass routine?” Well it was up next, as the final firework that completed an amazing display of bright lights, glittering outfits and gorgeous entertainers. Dressed in a tuxedo to match her male dancers who were featured throughout the show, Dita and her boys performed a sultry and classy choreographed routine throughout which they all removed pieces of clothing in sync. Then came the performance I had only seen in videos on YouTube: The Martini Act. Swirling around in the glass, Dita had a large plush olive from which she squeezed water onto herself and teased the audience. It was truly breathtaking. Dita was flawless and had the entire crowd cheering and wolf-whistling throughout the act. It was the best way to end such a memorable show.

To sum up my feelings on the show, all I have to say is that Dita Von Teese is everything I want to be, and I applaud her and her fellow artists for wearing heels for all their performances. The Glamonatrix Tour shows that everyone, no matter what size, shape, race or gender can be sexy as hell.

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AMNPLIFY – DB